*Beep*

.....

Feels uneasy. Cancellation of plan?

*Sigh*

Indeed.

How well do you cope with disappointment?

I'm sure most people out there would have been dealing with a certain form of disappoinment from time to time in their lives...

They range from minute ones, such as a cancelled appointment with a friend, with exam results that one least expects to get, with the way life is treating them, and many others.

Usually they differ in intensity in their effect to you in proportion with how you accept it and how important the thing is to you.

Disappointment flows from the sweet memory of a desired experience that's now lost. Think about a time that you were disappointed. What had you lost? And what feeling came over you when you realized that it was gone? Usually disappointment engenders a sinking, empty feeling that if we allow ourselves to experience it fully eventually carries us to a feeling of acceptance about what never can happen again.

In other words, disappointment puts us in the ready state for letting go so we can move on and fill ourselves again with what can be.

In fact, the word emotion derives its meaning from the old French word esmovoir, meaning "to set in motion, to move the feelings." Emotions are feeling in motion, and they do move. Once you experience emotions, they flow on. Their energy carries you somewhere else, and you can guide that journey.

For example, as we just said, disappointment moves to acceptance, and acceptance opens us to the possibility of entertaining new desires.

In fact, the quickest way to stop feeling some way you'd rather not feel is to go through the emotion. If you allow yourself to experience the feeling, it will take you somewhere else. The way we get stuck in our feelings is by trying to stop them and not experience the accompanying emotions.

There are two things we can do to cope effectively with our emotions when they arise.

First, we have to recognize and accept that strong emotional feelings are a normal and natural part of life. Let the emotions flow through us without becoming upset or resisting them in any way.

Second, recognize that every difficulty or obstacle that we experience contains the seed of an equal or greater benefit or advantage. Look for the good in every situation and you will be sure to find it.

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A written piece from Rev. Jan Croucher, something I hope to share with you.

Text: 2 Corinthians 12:1-10

LOOKING BACK AT OUR OWN DISAPPOINTMENTS

- Olympics - made us wish we had worked harder at a particular sport

- Maybe we had dreams of achieving a certain profession and never made it

- Perhaps you dreamt of children and grandchildren but Mr Right never appeared

- Or maybe you had dreams for your own children that they did not live up to

- Your children may have disappointed you deeply in not following your standards

- Those you have loved over the years don't seem to find the time to visit as often as you'd like

- Lingering behind all your disappointments is disappointment with God for letting all this happen

So tonight I want to look at what God might be saying to us about coping with disappointment.

Firstly - imagine the wonder of being caught up into the third heaven. That' s given to us along with other glimpses of life beyond this one. But then, to come back to the realities of this life: Paul talks about his thorn in the flesh. What it was we cannot be sure, but the fact that he frequently asked to be rid of it and never was is relevant to our topic. The Lord's response to his plea was 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' So instead of further complaint Paul's response is to delight in weaknesses, insults, hardships, difficulties. 'For when I am weak, then I am strong.' In Paul's mind, God did something better than removing the thorn.

Paul was able to adjust to God's way of working in his life, and I think this is where the secret lies. I can recall accusing God of letting me down. After a lot of anguish God led me to see how self-righteous I had become. I started to see that we live in an imperfect world and that I was part of it. My self-righteousness was probably one of the worst aspects of that imperfect world. I came to see that my role was no longer that of controller but of lover, and the best contribution I could now make was to love deeply those who had disappointed me.

Along the way I thought I had learned to be content, whatever my state - as Paul said he was - and then discovered that the learning process was continuous. It all boiled down to a matter of trust: trusting the one to whom I had committed my life. After all, his ways are perfect and far more superior to my plans and expectations. So I started to gather up all my disappointments and recognise that they were only relative to my expectations, and that to live in relationship with the Lord is to live in a way that expects only his presence and his joy. To paraphrase the famous Westminster Catechism phrase, our whole purpose in life is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever. God gives us plenty of room in there to use our minds and also to be individuals.

Martin Luther King in his book 'Strength to Love' says: 'At times in our lives, the tail winds of joy, triumph and fulfilment favour us and, at times the head winds of disappointment, sorrow and tragedy beat unrelentingly against us. Shall we permit adverse winds to overwhelm us as we journey across life's mighty Atlantic or will our inner spiritual engines sustain us in spite of the winds? Our refusal to be stopped, our "courage to be", our determination to go on "in spite of", reveal the divine image within us. When we make this discovery, we know that no burden can overwhelm us and no wind of adversity can blow us away. We can stand anything that can happen to us.'


Scripture examples: people who were disappointed not just with themselves but also with God - those who heard only his silence:-

Abraham - experienced only a tiny part of God's promise in his life time

Jacob - waited many years for offspring, then experienced grief over their actions.

Joseph - deserted by his brothers then wrongly accused and imprisoned

Paul - often harassed by his enemies just when his evangelism was getting results

Each of these was sustained by what Martin Luther King called their 'inner spiritual engines'.

How are yours?

Remember the promise God gives us in Isaiah 43: '..Thus says the Lord.do not fear for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the holy one of Israel, your Saviour.'

This I find to be one of the most intimate passages of God's love and protection. This is what God promises, not smooth sailing but his continual presence with us in the storm.

-------------------------

Indeed. Amen to that.