From my notes dated 30th September 2003:



Gosh. Today is definitely the worst day of my life. Firstly, I came to school, only to realise that Justin would be going for the NAFTA too, which he adamantly refused to go to the day before...-_- I decided to go then. Melisa agreed to lend me her sports attire, a T-shirt and soccer shorts. It was till the last minute where I received the clothes..Hurriedly, I went off to change...Everyone was waiting to take their name tags and go onto the track for the first station, which were the sit-ups. I remembered taking my student card from my bus pass holder, and then keeping them in my black, FX Creations sling bag. I went thru' the stations, and they were my main focus...things went pretty well at first..I wasn't in such a bad shape after a long absence from exercising...Well, then again, I felt very insecure about the condition of my eczema-ridden legs. I'm guessing that, when Theresa saw it, she must have been shocked and disgusted by the sight...



Anyway, I passed my pull-ups minimum requirement for the fist time ever, and boy was I glad and proud of myself. I had a good record for the standing broad jump station as well, seomthing which was totally unexpected. Perhaps the long walks and climbing of various flights of stairs prepared me well for this segment.



The joy I had didn't last.



During the 2.4km jog segment, I got down and put in my best effort...Looking back, I haven't had and official jogging session since last year 1 (imagine that) and I must say, I was totally flat ot three rounds into the jog. I actually stopped and walked. Theresa run past me....*laughs weakly* Theresa must have realised how a poor runner I am...bleh.



Towards the end of...I made a sprint, and extremely excruciating one...to the finishing line. I was unsuprisingly late, as I've passed the 12min minimum mark without completing the run yet. I was disgusted by myself. Utterly.



In a personal note, Justin was very encouraging and supportive as he ran alongside me and waited for me to complete the jog. Thanx. The run took a lot from me and my thighs were straining so much during the jog that I could hardly bend my knees afterwards...



Ok, with no delay, here it is. The worst part of the day. When I returned to the place where we left our bags, I was extremely beguiled to find my bag missing. It didn't struck me as hard..I was still stunned. On the other hand, I saw my handphone and wallet in my trousers, which were still there. The full brunt of the loss hit me when I recalled images of the objects I had in my bag, one after another. Foremostly, I thought of my minidisc player. Fair. It's old. It's been well-used over a span of 3 years and it's recording function is spoilt. It's okay. When Justin Averil, Vince and I left to the library(Justin needed to return books)



I recalled that there was an ECH book and CD that I've borrowed from the library, and they were in my "lost" bag as well...Damn.



Still, it was acceptable until the "hailstones" hit me. My digital camera. Stolen. Lost. Gone. I'll never see it again...Justin, Averil and Vince were really supportive; they stayed back to accompany me for a while. I appreciate their friendship a lot. Nevertheless, I know, in circumstances like that, NO ONE can help you. You can onlu ACCEPT it, I told myself.



When I reached home, my dad and mum "bombasted" me. They also insisted that it was partially my fault, which I couldn't agree with. Put anyone else in this situation, and it's the same. Ain't it? I was plain unlucky. Period.



Enough of that. Bleh.



Melisa and Theresa msged me to ask how I've been, and asked me to take care...Well, all I can say is that Theresa sounded a tad casual; honestly, I was hoping that she could sense the depth of my loss. Pehaps I am just asking for the impossible.

That made me feel so ordinary in her eyes, and it seemed to be an indication that all that I've done, till nowm didn't really matter to her. She was not moved. She couldn't be. Hell, I should get out of this...move on for goodness sake!?



Surely, I'll eventually meet someone who fate has planned for me to meet, someone

who would really appreciate and love me for who I am. Don't I?



GUESS NOT, DUDE. WAIT A MILLION LIFETIMES and perhaps...perhaps you still won't.

-__-"



By the way, aside from this storm in a teacup, or coffee cup, I've went to Jumi(my cousin)'s house to do my freakin' NS registration thingy. It was a hell of a chore. The internet was laggy and the loading of each webpage took nearly 3 minutes. =0 Gosh.

I ended up not being able to arrange the time for the NS medical checkup. I'll do it again tomorrow. Or tonight. It's 1.43am in the morning now.



I sincerely wish to be rid of the bad luck of this day. Amen.



P.s I'm really sore over losing my beloved digital camera. It would take me a loooooong time to get over it. My whold body is aching and I feel crapped-up. If there's a word. And there's the childcare attachment to go later. Arrrgggggghhhh!!! Deliver me.

Damn..my com was down again..finally fixed it and plugged it back today..;_;

It is Theresa's birthday tomorrow and I've given her a present today..sheesh..I could actually remember the wrong date of her birthday and msged her last night to wish her happy birthday..I even shot myself in the leg when I made a mess out of the piggy bank which I intended to paint and give to her...it looked like a monstrous mix of toxic blue and startling pink..>=( Anyways..I was kinda sad when came to the realisation that, whatever I do for her...I'll always be a friend. No more than that. Silly me, I should have known...perhaps reality is hard to accept...



Often, in msgs, Theresa would usually address me as E.g. "all the best, friend" This word makes me feel *arrrgh*. It is as if an imaginary line in between drawn that says "I appreciate you, but I'll need to remind you that I am not "available" and I hope not to lead you on". *tears at hair*



Anyways..I bought her a gift, which I feel bears a significant meaning. It is basically a Fisher-Price toy and is meant for children ages 18 mths and above...It is known as the "Box of Opposites" I had the concept of doing notes that would represent each of the sides of the cube, such as the Top, Bottom, Front/Back,Over/Under,Day/Night...

On the notes, I wrote personal sayings of my view on things related to the headings..E.g. What the word "Top" means to me...



She msged me back, praised me for the innovative idea..of transforming an ordinary toy into something refreshingly different and meaningful...Well..I am glad that she liked the present!~=)



Oh, in regard to the the long awaited photograph that I requested from Yoke Sum (ECH IT Coordinator), I finally saw Belinda(my CS 1.1 lecturer in year 1) today and gotten it. It is *rolls drum* nothing else but a picture of Theresa during the Price giving ceremony of the academically outstanding students last semester..no suprise as she's a very intelligent and hardworking gal hor...xD *is ashamed of myself* >_<



Well....*sigh*...this is it. Possibly my last birthday gift for her...

Here's a poem that I've gotten from an e-mail..I think it is great...=)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Rose





Some say love, it is a river

That drowns the tender reed

Some say love, it is a razor

That leaves your soul to bleed



Some say love, it is a hunger

An endless aching need

I say love, it is a flower

And you its only seed



It's the soul afraid of dreaming,

That never learns to dance

And the soul afraid of waking,

That never takes the chance



It's the one, who won't be taken

Who cannot seem to give

And the soul afraid of dying,

That never learns to live



When the night has been too lonely

And the road has been too long

When you feel that love is only

For the lucky and the strong



Just remember in the winter

far beneath the bitter snow,

Lies a seed, that with the sun's love,

in the spring becomes a rose



Amanda McBroom



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hmmm...attachment to my centre at Metropolitan YMCA childcare centre has begun and I've been there for three days..it was a really interesting and insightful experience..I'v e got to know my mentor and the K1 children, who were smart, fun and very cute~! =)

KiDs sMarTs 0_0





TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!



Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry

tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."



Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!

Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.

This is a good one...That's the problem with guys... sigh.. heh. :P




A girl's account:



"He was in an odd mood Saturday night. We planned to meet at a pub for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I wasa bit later than I promised, but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was very slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk a bit more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he didn't say it back or anything, this was really worrying me. "



"We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV, and sat with a distant look in his eyes that seemed to say it's all over between us. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and to my surprise, he responded to my advances . But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to confront him but I just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think he's seeing someone else and that my life is a disaster."




His Side of the Story:

ENGLAND lost to Brazil