There really is a light at the end of the tunnel.





Thank you Father.

My heart feels hollow. Like it has been eaten inside out.

Nothing is constant.

Nothing is stable.

Nothing there to hold onto.


I feel like a weed in the wind.



Lost.

The greatest pain in life
is not to die, but to be ignored.


To lose the person you love so
much to another who doesn't care at all.


To have someone you care so about so much throw a party...
and not tell you about it.


When your favorite person on earth
neglects to invite you to his graduation.


To have people think that you don't care.


The greatest pain in life,
is not to die,
but to be forgotten.


To be left in the dust after another's great achievement.


To never get a call from a friend,
just saying "hi".


When you show someone your innermost thoughts and they laugh in your face.



When it seems like the only person who cares about you,
is you.


If you do not care about your friends
you will not be punished.


You will simply be ignored...
forgotten...

as you have done to others.

Well, just had the deep desire to express how I feel about things recently.

I kinda fell out with my buddy of 8 years. Haven't contacted or spoke to him for more than one and a half months.

It's my fault for taking trust for granted, for being so self-centered.

I am ashamed to talk to him and yet so yearning for answers.

I am also witnessing a separation from my christian friends.

There's many thoughts, questions in my head that is unanswered.

I'm also feeling ashamed of the friend I am to my friends in cell-group. I have started off at a bad footing since Christmas eve last year, and many rifts has been caused.

I know that it is my ignorance that led of this.

I did not appreciate people.

I loaned money without returning on time, thus betraying their trust.

Right now, I feel like this vindicated person.

And I have misunderstandings with them as well.

It's hard to say, being ignorant, and I can only guess that I am being viewed in negative light as a person.

I'm untrustworthy, selfish.

This distance has been causing a rift in my relationships.

I feel disconnected and out of touch.

And daily, I pray about the redemption and reconciliation that I so yearn for.

All I know now is that I am working hard to make myself a person worth trusting again, debts are being cleared and I am trying my best to be a better person.

There's all it is to it.

Putting myself all out, and hoping that someone will listen.

God, I pray for the clarity of being. I pray for your wisdom.

And I pray that for courage, to accept that things change.

Nothing much has changed, really.


A long overdued decision.


For a paradigm shift.

Alas. Nothing much has changed

Looking back at my older blog entries, I discovered certain aspects of my thoughts that ironically reflected those of my current mindset.

It seemed that after so long....


I was still walking around in circles.

Get to know yourself better Quiz -

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.