Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Reminiscence

 I am back to the point which I started off.

Indeed life can be really ironic.


After all this time, the years that has passed by...

Nothing changes.


I am still me.


I still feel lousy about myself.


Am I still sensitive and does guilt still hold into my life?

Am I a good person?

Am I only seen to be of value only for what I offer?



Indeed I am replaceable.

This is the reality.


Eventually...time forgets all things... memories of my existence will be transient in the memories of man.

The equation I've made is that...if I cease to exist...

There will be no need for disappointment, of falling short, of being an ideal...



A tale of a boy. A man. Someone who has tried his utmost to love and do his best. 

Lost amid the pages of many storied lives...




Tuesday, December 25, 2012

The meaning to this day

It's Christmas here in Singapore time!!!




Many people associate Christmas to this jolly dude ^


or




Gifts


But...


It is really about....



The Birth of our Father, Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

 We continue to celebrate today because with the coming of "Immanuel," God with us, God has continued to be "with us" as he walked the earth, communing with us, and with the Holy Spirit that continues to be our constant comforter. Such a  gift of love, the gift of eternal life. 


What greater gift could we ask for?

 -------------------------------------------------

 A CHRISTMAS PRAYER

Loving Father, Help us remember the birth of Jesus,
that we may share in the song of the angels,
the gladness of the shepherds,
and worship of the wise men.

Close the door of hate and open the door of love all over the world. Let kindness come with every gift and good desires with every greeting. Deliver us from evil by the blessing which Christ brings, and teach us to be merry with clear hearts.

May the Christmas morning make us happy to be thy children, and Christmas evening bring us to our beds with grateful thoughts, forgiving and forgiven, for Jesus' sake. Amen.
 

Robert Louis Stevenson

-------------------------------------------------

 Come, let us praise the Lord!
Let’s shout praises to the Rock, who saves us.
~ Psalm 95:1



I love you Jesus, my father, my rock and my comforter, thank you for always being there for me.







 

Friday, December 21, 2012


It's December 21th, 2012 now.....



IS IT AS FORSEEN AS THE TURNING POINT IN THE WORLD?

Well, at least it is the time of the prophecy according to my side of the clock in Singapore.



Just another day?

Or will I sense a change?

A paradigm shift perhaps?




2 Corinthians 12:10 Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Haha, it was my 29th Birthday on 9th December, yesterday.:)


Looking back...

2012. A year of trials and tribulations...

Life was in shambles, loss of hope and a despair for the future...

That, however will change come 2013.

Let this be a reminder of a fruitful year come 2013.


CARPE DIEM!!!


Just feel blessed to have my parents by my side, though I do not credit them enough...

And my dear friends who were there for me...not many of them, but they are so important in the significance that they have brought to my life.

I hope that I can be a beacon of light to them as they were to me...

God I ask for peace, a sense of renewal and growth from my 29th year of existence onwards...

A deeper responsibility to my life and those around me whom I value and cherish.

And a chance to embrace life in the growing ways of my development...

To be the person that I can best be.

Myself.


Emmanuel.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Tribute to my beloved Pug : Pui Pui

Today, my dearest and most loved Pug, Pui Pui passed away from a sudden heart attack.

I miss her so much...the familiar places and items in the house, are all void of her energetic presence.

She was so adorable, lovable and I truly loved her with every ounce of my being.

I held her in my arms has she made the last few gasps for air...

As I have taken her into my arms on the day I adopted her, she was in my arms when she left.

This is the only comfort that I get...to know that while I held her tightly and patted her head, and said "Good Girl ah", she fell into her eternal slumber...

I had a final moment with her, together with my dad, as she lay on the steel table, looking like a child sleeping soundly; she had a peaceful expression, and as I kissed her forehead, I whispered into her ears, "Pui, don't worry, as you have made your way up first, I'll be joining you ...one day on the other side.

I pray to God, oh Father, that you may grant her an eternal place, where she will be happy, eating her favorite food and running around energetically.

I love you Pui, and you are a part of me and will always be in my memories.

Rest in Peace my cute lil' pug, may we meet again.


Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die...
-Anonymous



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I need to move on!

I need to break new ground this year.

Fulfill my priorities.

Take on an active "doing" mindset.

Keep a focus.




Emmanuelle.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

It's my birthday today!


Had a usual day at work.

None of my colleagues knew it haha, and I felt I didn't have to say it.

Caroline remembered and bought me a slice of chocolate fudge cake, and I am really happy :)

Much appreciation to those who posted their birthday wishes through facebook, I had msgs from secondary sch friends and army friends that I lost touch with. It is such a pleasant surprise! ^__^

Thank you Hanrong,Vince,Dad and Mum and Guangsheng for the lovely smses :D

Thank you Father, Lord Jesus, for never giving up on me, and for your grace and love.

I would be nothing without you, you gave me what I have and you guided me every single step of the way.

I am but just a weed swaying in the wind, but you paid attention to me, and let me feel like I mean the world to you. Thank you for your love.




I am older now.

As time unfolds, you begin to view the world in a different light.

Monday, November 22, 2010

I have hit the same old wall again.






And Lord, I seek your wisdom and grace.


I can only offer one thing through all this helplessness.

My faith.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

God's promises

I believe that you are referring to God, Bob.


"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever.

Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby.

Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."
Bob Marley

Sunday, September 26, 2010

What's the point of giving so much when people never appreciate you for what you've done?

All that sincerity, and care, it just goes out of the window.

It is my deepest fear to be take for granted.

To feel that you are not even significant enough to others and that they can conveniently leave you out...
To give is to risk.


I'm really afraid to do so these days.


You never know when betrayal comes in.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

KpWGteam : hey your garbage lay off emmy

My response?

get some manners dude

KpWGteam : your punching bag video is the gayest and weakest shit I ever seen

My response?

lol keyboard warrior, get your face out of pixel screens and get into the sunshine man

Some kid on the internetz just got really empowered that they are good in some first person shooter games, and start acting all gangsta, and try to take on someone by just viwing their vids. You messed with the wrong guy, little boy. I can open a can of whop-ass on you, anytime, and make you crap the hell out of your pants.

Go take on some martial arts before talking all tough, and prove your cred, otherwise, you can just put your head in your butt kid.

These internet warriors, talking tough and acting all big and bad, I bet they're bunch of skinny immature still-in-weaning geeks who stick they faces playing games all day.

They're also probably socially retarded as well; damn this dude couldn't even spell properly, wtfbbq

end of rant/

Thursday, March 18, 2010

There really is a light at the end of the tunnel.





Thank you Father.

Friday, March 5, 2010

My heart feels hollow. Like it has been eaten inside out.

Nothing is constant.

Nothing is stable.

Nothing there to hold onto.


I feel like a weed in the wind.



Lost.

Monday, March 1, 2010

The greatest pain in life
is not to die, but to be ignored.


To lose the person you love so
much to another who doesn't care at all.


To have someone you care so about so much throw a party...
and not tell you about it.


When your favorite person on earth
neglects to invite you to his graduation.


To have people think that you don't care.


The greatest pain in life,
is not to die,
but to be forgotten.


To be left in the dust after another's great achievement.


To never get a call from a friend,
just saying "hi".


When you show someone your innermost thoughts and they laugh in your face.



When it seems like the only person who cares about you,
is you.


If you do not care about your friends
you will not be punished.


You will simply be ignored...
forgotten...

as you have done to others.
Well, just had the deep desire to express how I feel about things recently.

I kinda fell out with my buddy of 8 years. Haven't contacted or spoke to him for more than one and a half months.

It's my fault for taking trust for granted, for being so self-centered.

I am ashamed to talk to him and yet so yearning for answers.

I am also witnessing a separation from my christian friends.

There's many thoughts, questions in my head that is unanswered.

I'm also feeling ashamed of the friend I am to my friends in cell-group. I have started off at a bad footing since Christmas eve last year, and many rifts has been caused.

I know that it is my ignorance that led of this.

I did not appreciate people.

I loaned money without returning on time, thus betraying their trust.

Right now, I feel like this vindicated person.

And I have misunderstandings with them as well.

It's hard to say, being ignorant, and I can only guess that I am being viewed in negative light as a person.

I'm untrustworthy, selfish.

This distance has been causing a rift in my relationships.

I feel disconnected and out of touch.

And daily, I pray about the redemption and reconciliation that I so yearn for.

All I know now is that I am working hard to make myself a person worth trusting again, debts are being cleared and I am trying my best to be a better person.

There's all it is to it.

Putting myself all out, and hoping that someone will listen.

God, I pray for the clarity of being. I pray for your wisdom.

And I pray that for courage, to accept that things change.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Nothing much has changed, really.


A long overdued decision.


For a paradigm shift.

Alas. Nothing much has changed

Looking back at my older blog entries, I discovered certain aspects of my thoughts that ironically reflected those of my current mindset.

It seemed that after so long....


I was still walking around in circles.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Get to know yourself better Quiz -

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

*** Disclaimer: This taken from the multiply article of Andrew Tetangco of the Philippines***

" Before I start, let me try to define what "cosplay" is.

The term "cosplay" doesn't have an exact meaning. If you try to look it up through Wikipedia, it is defines as "a type of performance art whose participants outfit themselves, with often-elaborate costumes and accessories, as a specific character." Simply put, cosplay is when people dress up as their favorite characters, whether be it anime, movies, and such.

I would also say that cosplay should not be mistaken for a costume party, like what is done in Halloween. Cosplaying, and just wearing a costume, are of different levels, although both wear costumes. For me, cosplaying has more dedication to the character details, or in other words, you really become the character when you cosplay.

Now, in regards to cosplay, there are also different people, and different styles in cosplay. Easily noticed are the mecha cosplayers. They are the people who dedicate time, resources and concentration on building massive costumes imitating robots, whether it be Gundam, Transformers, Macross' Variable Fighters, and Super Sentai mecha.

There are then some that cosplay Western comic book characters. Whether it be Iron Man, Batman, Wonder Woman, and such. Sometimes they also try to put in more detail, and they try to push it to the limit, like making Iron Man's hands, chest and even his eyes glow.

There are some, like me, who prefer cosplaying tokusatsu characters. Tokusatsu is a type of Japanese live-action TV show, which features the lead characters transforming into costumed heroes. Examples of such shows are from the Kamen Rider, Ultraman and Super Sentai franchise. Some would make their own helmets, buy toys for their props, and some would even go as far as having a custom-made helmet.

Another would be cosplayers who imitate movie characters. They can be anyone, from Jason Voorhees, or even The Mask. I was impressed with one cosplayer, who did a Darth Vader cosplay. He had the suit custom-made, but his helmet and lightsaber were authentic Star Wars merchandise. The lightsaber itself was a master replica.

One type of cosplay that I like to see, but sometimes I would need reminding who he or she is, are video game cosplayers. It's been a long time since I've been updated with new games, and I haven't played any MMORPG lately, since I don't have the time anymore. The cool thing about video game cosplayers would be that sometimes, they would go as far as imitating the moves that the characters make.

A rare type of cosplayer would be the "crossplayers," or cosplay crossdressers. They are really not that rare, but they are sometimes not easily noticed, specially since some crossplayers are so good, you don't know they are crossdressing already. But a note to this: just because a person does a crossplay, doesn't mean they are gay. They do it either because they love the character, or just for kicks. Sometimes male crossplayers are so good, some people mistake them for real girls, and are asked for their phone numbers.

And we come to the part of the cosplay community that, for me, has the biggest population: anime and manga cosplay. From my point of view, that's how cosplay started here, when anime and manga fanatics tried to dress-up as their favorite characters. Anime has the bigger influence among kids and kids at heart, that's why anime cosplayers are more common, as far as I can see.

There are also some rare chances that some would cosplay something out of the ordinary, but I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Take for example the J-pop costumes, or like Vocaloid's Hatsune Miku, or some that wear maid costumes.

...and we now finaly come to the topic that I wanted to bring up: Is there such a person as a "low class cosplayer?"

I think not.

It all boils down to how people interpret the costume, or the character, and how people like it. Not all people has the same exact interests.

Take for example, the tokusatsu genre. Few people know of it, fewer people appreciate it. There were some people who laughed at our Power Rangers cosplay last November 2008, during the Hataw Hanep Hero: the AMPED Edition, saying that it was "corny." But we still continue what we like, and it just goes to show that "one man's food is another man's poison."

Let me also say that I'm no exeption to this. I myself rarely take pics of Naruto cosplayers, although I am still a Naruto fan.

There are also some cosplayers that will look less satisfactory to some people. Let me try to make some examples, like a chubby Lockon Stratos, a crossdressed Usagi Tsukino, or a cardboard Kamen Rider Den-O Sword Form.

I've also noticed that the people who laugh at cosplay, most of the time, are non-cosplayers. Sometimes they are the event-goers that attend conventions for cusiousity's sake, or they are just simply passers-by. That, I can understand, since they don't understand how we love what we do, but it still hurts when that happens. No one wants to see anyone getting laughed at.

What I'm trying to say is that, there are cosplayers that have their own way of presenting their love for the art, plus how they love the character that they are portraying. There is no reason for someone to call another "low class," or anything similar.

Most of us cosplayers belong to one community. Let the people who don't understand, or those who don't want to understand, laugh at us. But hopefully, within ourselves, there will be no more discrimination. Besides, cosplay should be fun... ^_^"

This is a very nice article, I agree in many ways. ^___^